As the happy recipient two young boys under five, a gorgeous thriller writer husband, two businesses and a slightly neurotic poodle, life is full, funny, busy... complete with a two year old who would prefer to be a nudist all-year-round but especially during winter.
But just sometimes, it's hard to carve out time to bring one back to one's pre-bridal, youthful, radiant self. Especially without having slept in - oh - years.
For those of you that haven't made it your business to test out of your favourite botanically-based Swiss beauty range, here's my Top Ten Arbonne pamper picks for women, Top Eight for men, and a few gift ideas that will have any lucky recipient in raptures.
Women's Top Ten by Arbonne
- Arbonne Makeup Primer - Did you hear? Not to prime is a crime. Don't be a law breaker; get that silky stuff on. It helps foundation stay flawless for longer, which helps when one has fallen asleep in one's makeup and is running late for school drop offs the following morning. ($51)
- It's a Long Story Mascara - Our high performance product opens the eye as it lengthens, so you can put your eyelash curlers to better use, like assisting with making mud pies at the correct consistency.
- Intense Hydration Mask - The FC5 range has five fruits and veg in it, including strawberry and kiwi, mango, pumpkin and carrot. Slather this mask on your face while sitting in a hot tub and the little ones watch Frozen for the hundredth time - whatever brings ten minutes of unadulterated hydration. ($53)
- Eyeliner - After a long-running fear of eyeliner, while being madly in love with it at the same time, here's a new trick. I mentally divide the eye lid in half, and apply a bit at a time. This month I heart the creamy Cocoa shade. ($33)
- Purifying Sea Soak - These sachets bring the therapeutic benefits of seawater to your tub. Drink plenty of water before, to detox -- and I like a glass of vino after, for retox. ($85)
- Advanced Instant Lift Gel - It's a secret weapon: lather it on after a shower, wait a few minutes to dry (feel that instant lift), before applying moisturiser and makeup. ($71)
- FC5 Day Creme - This oil-absorbing formula smells like strawberry and kiwi, it feels great, gives your skin the right amount of hydration, and it has SPF 15 - perfick for oily or combination skin. ($53)
- Colourlast Hair Spray - Loving this alcohol-free hairspray that cleverly treats and protects coloured hair as it holds. I've been known to use it on wet and dry hair, straight or curly and anywhere in between. ($35)
- Pure Mint Deodorant - It's aluminium free, paraben free, it works, and smells like those spearmint lollies that I used to eat by the packet full in the 1980's. Incredible. ($23)
- Genius Nightly Resurfacing Pads - Our nightly resurfacing pads are so whizz-bang smart, they're taking over sales worldwide by word-of-mouth. Wipe your face with one textured pad at night before putting your night creme on and wake up looking rested, even when you've not slept a wink! ($137 - two month supply)
Men's Top eight by Arbonne
- Arbonne RE9 Shave Gel - Whenever a certain creative type finds himself out of this product, there's trouble, so I keep multiples in the emergency cupboard, just in case. And it smells good enough to eat. ($34)
- RE9 Men's Exfoliating Wash - See above. ($46)
- Genius Nightly Resurfacing Pads - The guys love our nightly resurfacing pads too, everyone's talking about them. Wipe your face with one textured pad at night - that's it! ($137 - two month supply)
- RE9 Lift Gel - You too can use our secret weapon after a big night: lather it on after a shower, and wait to dry before applying moisturiser. ($71)
- Vegan Protein Mix Vanilla - A vegan friendly shake mix with pea protein, not whey protein, it's the breakfast of champions when combined with a banana, some fresh berries and coconut water. (30 servings - $95)
- Pure Mint Toothpaste - Fluoride-free, this gel doesn't taste like normal toothpastes because it ain't packed with mint flavouring. Once you get used to the no artificial flavours approach, you'll love what it does for your teeth and gums, naturally. ($23)
- Skin Conditioning Oil - If it's good enough to fix David Cassidy's skin condition, it's good enough for you. Use it alone or mixed into your daily moisturiser or after shave balm for extra zest. ($22)
- Men's After Shave Balm - Comforts skin, soothes razor burn, and smells good. Dad's getting some for his 88th birthday this month, because you're never too old to take care of yourself! Right? ($49)
- Ultra Hydrating Hand Creme - Just the smell of this stuff gets people talking when you bring it out of your handbag (or manbag). Not too heavy, not too light, the hydration is just right.
- Golden Coast Palette - Really want to get some brownie points? I'm dreaming of a trip to Fiji for a Big Birthday, and this is what I'll take. The vegan-friendly, dermatologically tested palette includes four sunkissed eyeshadows, bronzer and the three-in-one lip colour. ($110)
Next month - get ready to hear about an all-new Genius Body Booster Serum to say sayonara to those bingo wings and crepey decolletage skin. Clinically proven to show results in two hours, it helps improve the appearance of firmness and elasticity, skin texture, tone, clarify and radiance. And as someone who is nearly looking down the barrel of the late 30's all I can think is: Yeah baby. Break me off a piece of that.
The entire Arbonne range is all very 'sclusive though, and you can't buy it in stores, only online, through consultants like me.
In terms of pricing, a quick lowdown, Preferred Clients take 20% off the RRP, and Consultants get a 35% discount .